We live in a world where we are attached to our phones. We are always logged in. Our eyes are glued to every one of Joe Schmo's status updates. We have become desensitized to bad-news stories and to pictures of Justin Bieber's penis. We are obsessed, addicted, and attached and we just can't get off the internet.
While addiction is the overall problem, author David McCandless created Inter Mental, a breakdown of all the conditions you may have developed throughout your years of using and overusing the internet. Here are some of the conditions. Let's see how many you suffer from.
You are at dinner with your partner and they get up to use the restroom. What is the first thing you do when they leave the room? Do you reach for your phone? If you said yes, you may have a Smart Tick. You couldn't sit alone for one minute without needing to touch or play with your phone. Most of the time you aren't even aware that you are doing this, therefore, we call it a tick.
Dingeing is bingeing in a digital way. After a long day at work where you were not able to use your phone, after watching a movie so you couldn't take a peek, or after you accidentally leave your phone at home while running errands, you find yourself bingeing online content intensely and compulsively starting the moment you are reunited with your device.
If you have 307 unread messages in your inbox and you can't sleep at night, then you probably suffer from Backlog Depression. The subtle stress and burden of leaving any unread mails in your mailbox can lead to this disorder. Once you check the emails and the mailbox goes to zero unread messages, you will feel light and free once again.
Fear of missing out. While looking at Jeannie from accounting's Facebook over and over again, you can't help but wish that you were invited out on the boat last Saturday. And why weren't you? You love boats.
Devorce is when you are lying in bed with your partner and instead of talking to one another, you are texting each other. Instead of saying how fun your weekend was, you are commenting on their Facebook pictures. You are currently in a Devorce, which can easily lead to a divorce, so be careful.
Email allergy is a psycho-inflammatory response to receiving email that feels like an actual allergic reaction. It may cause anger or depression and it is often accompanied with fear of loading your inbox. Warning: This condition may cause you to reply IN ALL CAPS and/or use a million exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!