It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't leave the house looking like they do. But they not only go out, they relish how they look. They celebrate their style. That's either full-blown confidence or straight-up denial.
Let's go with the latter.
3. He Dances Like No One Is Watching (Except EVERYONE Is Watching)
My friend's dad once farted and burped at the exact same time and it split a seam in the space-time continuum, which caused us to travel back in time to the Jurassic period where my friend's dad started singing "Back in Time," which caused a T-Rex to chase us and my friend accidentally stepped on a rare conifer, which then caused the Butterfly Effect, which is why we have Donald Trump running for president today, whom my friend's dad is voting for.
Listen, there's worse music out there than dad rock. It's just that dads love it so much, hold on to it so hard and refuse to listen to anything else that it deserves the derision. But beware: Years from now, Skrillex will be considered dad rock.
Sure, golf is played by both men and women, both young and old. But, let's be honest, it's a sport for dads. Why? Because only a dad could play something as painfully boring as golf and pretend that it's the greatest thing ever.
(And the answer to the joke, "What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?" is "A guy will actually look for the golf ball.")