The beginning stages of a relationship can be brutal! The worst part about it is the communication, which is now mostly done over text. And you can’t help but obsess over the texting. Did I text too much? Should I text less? Why isn’t she texting me? It can be exhausting!
And do you feel like you are always the person initiating the texts? Do you want her to make the first move every once and awhile? You start to think, maybe she doesn’t like me? Maybe she has like six other boyfriends? Maybe she thinks I smell? Is she ghosting me? I DIDN’T REALLY LIKE HER ANYWAY!!!!
There could be many reasons as to why you are always the first one to reach out. Some people are just bad at texting. Maybe their phone is in the other room. Or they are driving. Or they don’t like you. Or they think you are annoying. Or they are just busy. Here are some honest reasons why she never texts you first.
You may love to text, but she may not be a big texter. Maybe she isn’t attached to her phone all the time. Maybe she prefers a phone call over a text and she can’t call you every time she thinks of something she wants to say to you. That would be crazy! And someone who isn’t good at texting will forget that they got a text, move on and then look like a jerk when they finally respond to it at the end of the day or even a few days later. You may be a text pro and she may be just an amateur. Don’t think too much into it.
Maybe she is just really busy. Not the “I’m busy” excuse, but actually busy. And good! You want to be with someone busy. She is making money, working hard and working towards achieving her goals. Some people don’t want to drop what they are doing every five seconds to send you a text. They will tell you instead when they see you or text you when they can. But by the time they get to you, you may have already texted them first.
Have you guys set up the pattern that you usually text first? If so, she may just be waiting for you to reach out. You’ve always served first in this tennis match of texting so she isn’t going to switch things up unless you say something.
She may know that you are really busy and doesn’t want to bother you. Some people like to honor a busy schedule or day, and give you time to handle your business. If you are out with friends or family, she doesn’t want to be blowing up your phone. She is just giving you space and you may be overthinking it.
Or maybe she just isn’t that into you. If you are finding that you are always the one reaching out and her responses are just a few words, she may not be interested. It’s best to move on. You deserve someone who wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with them. Stop texting and walk away from your phone.
Maybe she thinks that you aren’t that interested in her? She isn’t going to put herself out there, if she thinks you aren’t taking it seriously. Maybe she needs a green light to know that she can reach out whenever she wants and that you want her to.
In the beginning of a relationship, the two people involved can be very insecure. They think that every little thing you do can cause the other person to not like them anymore and walk away and crush their soul and ego. They may not want to appear too needy or available, so she may be playing it cool.
Some girls are old school and want the guy to make the first move. If you are certain that she is into you and it is bothering you that she doesn’t reach out, just tell her how you feel. She will feel much freer to reach out if she knows you are fully in this with her.
So, it could be any of those reasons. You can tell when someone is into you and when someone isn’t, so pay attention to the the clues and go with it. And when in doubt, pick up the phone and call her to talk. You will get so much more from the sound and the tone of her voice than you will from a few texts. We have phones for a reason! So let’s use them.