Queen Elizabeth II of England is quite possibly the baddest b out there today! She's got tracts of land, the royal jewels, more vacation homes than you can shake a stick at, she's married to a tall dude. And, to top it all off, she also has secret code she shares with her secret service members. That might be the coolest thing.
You see this? This is the Queen. But what's that on her arm? It's a handbag. Not just any handbag. That's the source of her code. Let's say she's engaged in conversation with another royal, but she direly wants to get out of it. If she switches her handbag from one arm to other, it signals to the aids that she wants out. And they push aside her interlocutor, and whisk the Queenie away.
The Queen is one busy mother. She's got a lot of stuff to do. A lot of shoulders to knight. A lot of precious stuff to anoint. You get it. She doesn't have time to speak to boring so-and-so Duke of Whatnotingham for hours. She's got places to be! That's why this signal is so important, and so frequently used.
She doesn't just use this emergency tactic while she's out on the town. She also uses it while engaged in dinners and fetes. But let's say she's sitting down, eating with Earl of Whogivesadamnshire in the Great Hall, and he's boring the tears out of her. How is she going to signal to her aids that she wants out? Does she switch the purse from hand to hand? Not when she's sitting down. So what does she do?
Does she scratch her head a lot? Not even close. She whips that pocket book out, and slaps it down on the table like, "What! I'm the Queen! I can have my damn pocketbook out!" Aids will then dash on in, and get her out of that boring dinner.
Now, let's say she's elsewhere in the palace. She's in her chambers, and some lord or lady is talking her ear off, and she wants out. What's she gonna do? She might not have her purse on her. Instead, the Queen has a secret button that she can press to alert her aids. They come in, and shut down the meeting.
The handbag is like the Queen's utility belt. And though it's iconic, it hasn't always been the same. However, the Queen likes her bags by Launer, a high-end fashion line. The bags run in the grands on the low end, and just increase from there. But what else does the Queen carry in that bag? Surely it's not just a ringer used for signaling. Surely.
Inside she carries a bunch of goodies. She's got a tiny mirror, some lipstick, some reading glasses, and a pen. She also carries around a five or 10 pound note to drop in the church tin. It's always freshly pressed and ironed. The money is ironed!
She's also got some good luck charms in that bag of tricks of hers. Things like miniature dogs and other gewgaws her grandchildren give her. She's a sucker for stuff like that. What grandma wouldn't be? There's also some more utilitarian stuff in there. Like...
The Queen's cousin once saw her take a suction cup out of her bag and put it down on the dining table. The Queen spit on the cup, stuck it onto the underside of the table, and hung her handbag from it. This Queen is crafty.
Like we said, she keeps some lipstick in that purse of hers. After meals, she's into the habit of always reapplying her pucker paint. It's become quite a bit of gossip around the royal circles. In any other person, this practice would seem gauche. Not the Queen.
Of course, sometimes the Queen needs to carry some other stuff. But does she? No: she delegates that out to her ladies in waiting. These mothers. Woah, they do not look that happy. But would you be if you had to carry around someone else's junk all day? They're getting paid, but like, really?
The Queen's got a few more tricks in that bag of hers. One time, while dining with Ronald Reagan, the Queen opened up a fortune cookie. She showed the fortune to her hubbie, Prince Philip, then dumped it in her bag. Is it worth a fortune? Probably.
It's believed that the Queen has owned over a hundred Launer bags in her lifetime. That's a lot of bags. But either way, if she switches one of them from one arm to the next, you best believe that her interlocutor is going to get bounced. That's a hundred ways to say no — and it's the Queen's prerogative. Long Live the Queen's Handbag!