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The Most Inspiring Pope Ever Sneaks Out to Help the Homeless

Pope Francis can't be stopped.

News

Published December 4, 2013

The Most Inspiring Pope Ever Sneaks Out to Help the Homeless

Pope Francis can't be stopped.

News

Published December 4, 2013

1. Pope Francis is on a Tear

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Since becoming pope, Francis has thrown out expired teachings, reached out to atheists, and has even rejected capitalism in a way that would make a liberal arts college newspaper proud. But most miraculously perhaps is a report from Swiss guards verifying that Pope Francis has snuck out of the Vatican at night incognito to help the homeless.

2. No Stranger to the Streets

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Pope Francis has not been fazed by going out into the public. Recently the pope disclosed he used to work as a bouncer at a bar in Argentina.

3. Get to Work

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While Pope Francis has been critical of modern capitalistic society, he has also been equally critical of negative people, who he refers to as "querulous and disillusioned pessimists," and "sourpusses."

4. New Priorities

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Pope Francis' priorities for the Cahtolic Church emphasize more missionary work and the establishment of a more merciful church. When confronted on the subject of marriage equality, he said "Who am I to judge?"

5. He Acknowledges Victims of Clergy Abuse

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The Pope has also openly addressed the issue of child abuse, and offered a prayer for anyone affected by members of the clergy.

6. The Best is Yet to Come

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Pope Francis also is working hard not to alienate more conservative members of the church. He has already made efforts to reunite with the Orthodox Church.

Pope Francis also carries his own luggage when he travels, is chauffeured in an economically priced Ford Focus, and has kissed the feet of AIDS patients and people with other terminal diseases. Given his hot streak, there's no telling what the Pope will do next.