Your wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Finally, you're openly declaring your love to the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. Nothing can go wrong, because as long as you're by your spouse's side, things are perfect. Except things don't always go as planned...
Weddings are notoriously stressful. They're known for turning even the calmest of person into a raving maniac. While it might seem like your wedding is threatening to destroy your life, you don't want to bring down everyone else around you. Here's what you should and shouldn't do.
3. DON'T: Make your Bridal Party Change Their Appearance
You should love your bridal party the same way your future spouse loves you: just as they are. Sure, you want your maid-of-honor to look great on your big day, but asking her to cut her hair, cover up her tattoos or lose a few pounds is asking a little much of someone who's already doing a lot. Your wedding preparations shouldn't include a Monday morning weigh-in!
Instead of imposing a strict dress code on your bridal party, give them guidelines of what they should be going for. If you're willing to work with your bridal party, everyone will be happier in the process. You can ask your bridal party to match the aesthetic you're going for.
5. DON'T: Make It Mandatory To Attend Every Wedding-Related Event
Every single wedding event is important to you — from your cake tasting to your rehearsal dinner to your pre-wedding-night bikini waxing. And while you feel like missing any one of those events would be life or death, not everyone in your wedding party feels that way. Your wedding party might have other priorities, like work, so be realistic in what wedding-related events you expect them to attend.
6. DO: Keep The Invitation To Wedding-Related Events Open
Even though you might not be able to expect every member of your wedding party at every wedding related event, you should keep the invitation open. Even if you don't think Cousin Catherine is going to attend your post-post-bridal shower, you should still invite her. Nobody likes to feel like they're excluded!
7. DON'T: Expect Your Bridal Party To Do Everything
Your maid-of-honor isn't your personal assistant (unless you made your actual personal assistant your maid-of-honor). Don't treat your wedding party as a group of minions completely at your beck and call. Even if you feel like you don't have a life outside of your wedding, they do. Your wedding planner is your wedding planner, not your third cousin twice removed.
Weddings are a big deal, so you can ask for help when you need it. Just be reasonable in your demands. If you need someone to give you a second opinion when you go in for your dress fitting, ask your maid-of-honor. That's what she's there for!
9. DON'T: Make Your Bridal Party Participate In Something They're Not Comfortable With
While you might be caught up in your wedding fervor, the other members of your wedding party might not be in the same mindset. Don't ask them to do anything they're not comfortable with. If they don't want to call a male stripper for the bachelorette party, don't make them. If they don't want to help you bury the body of the dead male stripper when the bachelorette party goes awry, don't make them do that either.
10. DO: Let Your Bridal Party Know What You're Not Comfortable With
On the flip side, your bridal party might be more caught up with planning certain things, like the bachelorette party, than you are. It's your day, so it's well within your right to let them know you hate clowns. It's better to be clear with them than to have that awkward moment where you find out they've thrown a clown-themed wedding shower for you.
You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends' friends. While you've carefully cultivated your wedding guest list, be aware that if you extend a plus one to your guest, they're allowed to bring who they want to bring. You cant have a bouncer at your wedding making sure people are on the list. If you don't want your guests bringing some rando as a plus one, then don't give your guests a plus one.
Plus one doesn't mean plus three. Your guests should be considerate and only bring one date. If you don't want children at your wedding, specify no children. You can specify these guidelines, and it's not unrealistic to expect your guests to follow them.
You're not on an episode of Bridezillas, so don't act like it. If things aren't going perfectly, don't have a meltdown. There are no cameras. You're not trying to create drama for TV. Everyone should enjoy your wedding and share in your happiness!
Things are going to go wrong. It's inevitable. When they do, if you roll with the punches, you'll make your life (and everyone else's life) much easier. You can turn to your bridal party for support when your makeup artist is no where to be found. Guaranteed someone knows how to create a perfect smoky eye. That's what they're there for!