You totally deserve it.
What? *adds to cart*
You'll think they're a joke but you'll actually want these things...
Your life is complicated. Make it more simple with these.
You never knew how much you needed these.
You'll literally become a better chef just by looking at this.
Start living like the real adult you are.
If all else fails, there is always food.
Because sometimes, you have to go outdoors.
People will think you've got it all together.
We just want you to live your best life.
Finally you know what to get that person who's hard to shop for.
There's something here for everyone.
You have clothes. But they're not as cool as these.
Here's a hint: the thief felt pretty crappy about stealing this package.