When you collect 1000 tickets, you win a lifelong phobia of mice.
Photo credit: Awkward Family Photos
At this child's party, his father dressed up as Big Bird, got drunk and, after failing to find an opening in his costume, pissed himself. Happy birthday, son!
This birthday boy invited his main bitch AND his side bitch. Chaos ensued.
Philip has seen his careless mother's hair go up in flames one too many times. Snore.
No child's birthday is complete without a framed picture of George W. Bush.
The one night a year Bob's wife dug out the good underwear was also the one night they couldn't find a sitter.
Photo credit:Awkward Family Photos
In the Brown household, it's tradition to watch the movie Carrie on your first birthday.
Grandsons can only take so much boredom before they fall into a coma and die.
This child does NOT stand for gender stereotypes. After five minutes of wearing a party dress, she demanded the return of her much preferred ambiguous clown suit.
How to kill a party with fondant.
At Lucy's seventh birthday, her granddad yelled, "Face plant!" before shoving her head into her beautifully decorated flower cake. Some people just can't resist a good pun.
The first time this kid tried birthday cake he hulked out so hard that he required a tarp just to eat it.
Taken moments before this terrified child soiled himself.
Jason HATES pink! He's told his mom 1000 times, but old Coupons McGee couldn't resist a two for one.
Life's all downhill from here and she knows it.