You'd be surprised. A lot of people have some pretty big misconceptions about the big O. Luckily, we at Guff are here to debunk some of the myths. So light some candles, crank up that Barry White and get ready to learn. Yes, more, yes!
"It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it so you do the math." ”” When Harry Met Sally
Well, maybe not all women have faked an orgasm, but a surprisingly high number have, according to surveys. Psychologists at Columbia University surveyed 450 women and found that 54 percent of them admitted to having faked it. Another survey, conducted by scientists Gayle Brwer (University of Central Lancashire) and Colin Hendrie (University of Leeds) found that 80 percent of women have faked it. (NBC News)
The Huffington Post spoke to Dr. Fran Walfish, a relationship psychotherapist in Beverly Hills, who said, "Many women fake orgasms to feed men's egos in order to make them believe they're potent and powerful enough to bring them pleasure." Or in Sally's case, because they're at Katz's Deli.
Two hundred and thirty men, aged 19 to 29, admitted to the scientific journal Sexual and Relationship Therapythat they have faked an orgasm more than once. Furthermore, the men in that study reported that they have faked an orgasm in around 30 percent of their sexual encounters. (Psypost)
Another study at the University of Kansas reported that 25 percent of the men surveyed have faked an orgasm at least once. (Mic) It's almost comforting to know that men and women are in a similar boat. Then you remember that it's the result of a lack of communication....and then it's back to not being comforting again.
We have movies (both Hollywood and porn!) to thank for that misconception, but the female orgasm isn't that magically instantaneous...even if it's raining and he told you that he wrote to you every single day for a year.
The Notebook references aside, a woman's orgasm usually takes around 20 minutes to reach. Which relates to an even more common misconception...
5. 'There's Something Wrong With Her If She Can't Orgasm'
The alternate myth? "There's something wrong with me if I can't make her orgasm."
Listen (er, read) carefully: Lots and lots of women have trouble reaching that big O. Louanne Cole Weston, PhD told WebMD Magazinethat around 10 percent of women have never orgasmed. Ever. That includes through partners and through masturbation.
Even for women who can reach an orgasm, it still only happens between 50 to 70 percent of the time. (Psychology Today) That means that 30 to 50 percent of the time, she's not feeling the fireworks. And that's okay! It's all about the journey, not the destination.
It's not as common, but an ejaculate-free orgasm can occur for men. It's called a "dry orgasm" and occurs more often with younger men. A common cause of dry orgasms is, to quote Medical Daily, "excessive masturbation" since their ”” ahem ”” fluids are at a lower volume.
7. 'Vaginal Penetration Is the End All, Be All for Orgasms'
Since most female orgasms are caused by clitoral stimulation, an orgasm from vaginal sex is often regarded as the Holy Grail of orgasms. (Or should I say: The Hole-y Grail? No, I shouldn't. Ugh, I couldn't resist.)
Okay, forget about awful puns. Let's get back to learning: Many doctors and scientists aren't even sure that a vaginal orgasm, or even the "G-spot," really exists. One bioethicist, Jefferey Spike over at Florida State University's College of Medicine, insists that the G-spot "belongs in the same category as angels and unicorns." (Broward Palm Beach New Times)
A vaginal orgasm may simply be a different type of clitoral orgasm. The vagina, according to French gynecologist Odile Buisson, is "inextricably linked with the internal arts of the clitoris; stimulating the vagina without activating the clitoris may be next to impossible." (Live Science)
One thing's for sure: The human body, like an early Avril Lavigne hit, is complicated.