"Hey, where are you going? I said I'd take 1/3 off the price for you."
"$8,000,000,000? Would it be cool if I paid in installments? I'm totally good for it."
"Hey, Brother. I saw your posting about your belly button lint for sale. Wondering if you'd be willing to trade a bottle for my 1964 Chevy Camaro?" - Said no one, ever.
Hot tip: Never hire the guy that juggles chainsaws at a discounted rate. Hire the guy who charges full price.
The wait is over.
You can now be the proud owner of this origami replica of Ronald Reagan's historic trip to Russia.
Available while supplies last.
"Similar products? THERE ARE SIMILAR PRODUCTS?!"
*Pulls out credit card*
"Let's go with two orders."
*Puts on sunglasses*
"Now, we wait."
In that case... SIGN ME UP.
Have you ever wondered what Arnold would look like if he was clinically obese? You can now find out by buying this $16,800 statue.
In 2000, a radio station DJ in New York sold two leftover slices of JT's French toast for $1,025! Isn't that crazy? Justin Timberlake doesn't even like French toast. It is perhaps his only flaw.
One corn flake shaped like the great state of Illinois: $1,350.
This is why other countries hate us.
Own a piece of history with this homemade commemorative shell!
This one-of-a-kind conversation piece includes a direct quote from one of the most evil men to ever live!
Honestly, I've spent way more than a dollar on way dumber sports memorabilia.
Ozzie Canseco autograph, anyone?
Christmas is right around the corner, fellas. Get the special lady in your life a T-shirt of a chipmunk eating corn. Only $16.99!
"Brenda! Congrats on the engagement. Let me see that ring!"
"Uh, but what if I want to buy a hand-painted caricature of Paula Deen?"
"Sorry, I only paint Paula Deen FOR Paula Deen, so unless you're Paula Deen, I won't give this to you. Are you Paula Deen?"