Aside from damaging the front of the car, the back of the car and the two poles, this is a perfect example of flawless parallel parking.
And by "flawless," I mean "flawed."
"Ha! No one will ever steal this bike rack. Sure, it's been permanently cemented into the ground, but you can never be too safe. This bike rack is now secure, thanks to me...an American hero."
This GIF represents every relationship I have ever had: I think I'm doing the right thing, I think things are going in the right direction, and then it turns out I am 100 percent effing wrong.
And then I hurt my face.
"Wait. So you're saying I can't take the pump with me? Really?! Huh, that seems totally random and arbitrary, but I guess since it's your gas station I'll abide. Still seems strange, though."
Some people may ask, "How in the hell do I put my ice cream in that cone?" The answer is, "You don't. Ice cream sucks."
I may stand alone, but I stand alone confident in my beliefs...
Christ, I'm so lonely.
If this toast is any indication of this couple's relationship, I think it's safe to say that they are going to be together forever.
That's because toasts are meaningless...as is love.
I think we all can agree that cheese on top of the bun instead of the patty is no big deal. The crime here is that they placed an onion in the burger and that, my friends, is a punishable crime.
One of the great* things about this country is the ability to buy a gun without proving that you're not an idiot.
(*Is that how you use the word "great"?)
"Hey, remember that thing we invented to dry hands and save on using paper towels?"
"Turns out, it makes a much better holder for actual paper towels than it does for actually drying hands."
"Hmm...let's run with that."
Come on, this is ridiculous. (I would still eat it.) Does this person really not understand baking? (Seriously, I would totally eat every last crumb.) I mean, are they even trying? (Please, someone make this for me.)