They say that sex is like pizza: even when it's bad, hey, it's still pizza. However, people on Reddit recently opened up (lol) about their most embarrassing sexual escapades and, well, maybe sometimes it's best to just skip out on the pizza.
"Girlfriend was reaching down my pants to cop of [sic] feel at a bowling alley. Got me hard. She had long nails. She cut open the head of my penis. Blood everywhere. Thought I was gonna die." - cirejabroni
It's scary how quickly a dream can turn into a nightmare.
"I was going down on a girl when she spasmed a bit, squeezing her thighs together around my head. This put a good amount of pressure around my nose and before I realized it, blood poured from my face onto her vulva. She sees my bloody face and checks herself. Poor girl had a brief horrified realization that she got her period while I was going down on her before I explained what happened." - williamhgacy
"In my first relationship, my boyfriend was trying to get me off with his hand. I never had an orgasm before, and so I wasn't sure what it would feel like. I had this built up sensation in my groin and figured that was it and I should let it go... ended up peeing on the bed and his hand. His response was, 'Does that count?' He was still proud of himself but I was mortified." - ChanandlerBongUrie
"My first one. My stepsister's friend when I was 13 (she was 16). She was waiting for my stepsister to come home from work and came into my room while I was doing homework. She wasn't that attractive, but after we were talking and what not she started hinting about my love life (I just turned 13...I had no love life). She asked what I've done so far with a girl (nothing). So one thing led to another... I let her see me naked. She stood up and was about to get undressed, too. She reached out first and decided to feel my Johnson and in one tug... it went off. She yelped at the surprise of the first burst, dropped it and that was the end of it. My first hand job. All my other experiences are tied for 2nd worse. I'm better at other things like video games and making spaghetti." - NoTime4LoveDrJones
"As we're getting a bit hot and heavy, about to do the deed, she stops me and says, "I have to warn you, I am prown to hitting people during the act."
We start with her on top and things are going well for about five seconds, then she gets this look in her eyes that would scare Charles Manson. With that she cocks her arm back and makes a fist, using her other arm as leverage to square up the shot. I jerk my hips to try and throw her off me but it was all too late. She punches me square in the Adam's apple.
I get her off me, unable to breath, and sit on the edge of the bed trying my best to shout 'you punched me in the throat' while she tries to comfort me and apologizes.
Cue 10 minutes of me trying to leave while barley able to catch my breath and get the condom of my flaccid fellow. My throat was sore for over a week." - bennett93ish