Makeup brought to you by Hewlett Packard.
Speaking of refrigerators, that burn was COLD.
GEICO called. They want the face of their ad campaign back.
He puts down the notepad. Hands over $5.
The type of chompers that can make even the British squirm.
If you read this and then look into her eyes, you can almost see her crying back. That's how mean this is!
A face only a mother can think is not a d-bag.
He takes off his glasses. "And what is wrong with that?!"
This roast was like a kick in the nuts. How fitting for a Phil Margera look-a-like!
Wendy's, where the burgers are grilled and the spokesperson is ROASTED.
Some men just want too watch the world churn.
I think what this roaster meant was, "If she were president, she'd be Baberaham Lincoln."
This burn is like a John Cougar Mellencamp song because it hurts so good.
He's whiter than the paper he wrote "roast me" on!
If his face was a font it would be called "Loudnoxious."
Yeah, it's an "alone advertisement."
Stylist: "What did you have in mind?"
She's like, "Make me look like one of David Bowie's scarves."
Stylist: "Say no more."
"Ay, Gurl. I couldn't help but notice you from across the bar. Here's my phone numba..."
He slides over a his phone number written on a paper plate.
"I don't always surf the web, but when I do, I browse for grooming tips."
When you're feeling good and you wanna feel bad. Who you gonna call? Roastbusters.