Lawyererjb said , "I had to explain to a client why their ex-husband could travel with their child to Florida without obtaining a passport. As in, I had to tell them that Florida was part of the United States."
Rockylane said, "By far and away the strangest thing I have ever had to explain to a client is how to use an elevator. Our court room was on the fourth floor, and she needed to take an elevator to get there. I had to describe how you get in, push the "4" and then get out when the lights above shows she's on floor 4. Yeah."
And don't even bother trying to explain how an escalator works. It's too complicated.
Quackattackaggie said, "It doesn't matter if you were sober or not. You jumped out of a third story window with a beer bottle and threw it at a cop. The jury is going to think you were drunk. Also, I think you were drunk."
It turns out, even sober people are not allowed to throw bottles at cops. Lesson learned!
Robertfp said, "I was contacted by a couple who had paid for a trip to see the midnight sun in Northern Norway. They wanted to sue the travel agency when they found out it was the same sun as always. I had to explain that there's only a single sun, and that they can't sue a travel agency for selling a midnight sun trip."
You mean Norway doesn't have its own separate sun? What a rip-off!
Sidekick_sofi said, "When I was a legal intern at a criminal defender's law office, we had a client who was charged with murder. We explained to the client not to make any phone calls saying anything incriminating because it will be recorded. Where prisoners can use the phone there is a GIANT SIGN that says "PHONE CALLS WILL BE RECORDED"...Client made a call to his girlfriend that evening asking her to hide the gun."
He should have used a code word for gun, like, "Hey, could you do me a favor and hide the...bullet-shooting thingy?"
Names0fthedead reported telling a client, "No, you dingus, 'self defense' does not mean he punches you in the face and then 2 weeks later you go to his house, ring his doorbell, and kick the s*** out of him."
Sometimes, "self-defense" comes with a two-week delay.
Farawaytadpole said, "I once had a client who wanted to declare bankruptcy. I explained he needed to have his tax returns for the past few years filed in order to do so. He said he hadn't filed taxes in 20 years because 'It ain't none of the government's business how much money I make.'"
But it is the government's business to tell everyone you owe money to that you're completely broke.
TheJollyGreenJesus said in one case, "(A) guy killed several people with a baseball bat and wanted his sentence mitigated because he had PTSD. He claimed he had PTSD from experiencing the murder he committed. The court had to explain to him that a mental issue acquired while committing a crime cannot mitigate the crime you committed."
This client didn't quite get that in PTSD, the "P" stands for "post," not "pre."