Welcome back! Did you have a good summer? LOVE the new backpack. Anyway, allow us to reintroduce you to your classmates.
All her clothes had horses. Her folders had horses. Her pencil case had horses. If her parents were really rich, she had horses.
Let's be realistic: This kid wanted to be a marine biologist in order to be friends with dolphins (or orcas or, if they were a little edgier, sharks). It was a foolproof plan.
He probably had a unique name, like Colton or Rowan. Colton/Rowan's dad took him on his business trip to Japan over the summer and it changed him.
"Hey, did you know that I have a pet tarantula?""I know, Mark. You mention it ALL THE TIME."
Their house always had a bunch of animals. Dogs, cats, hamsters, bunnies, turtles... You couldn't keep track, but you always noticed when they came to class covered in pet hair.
If every freckle is a kiss from an angel, then angels loved this kid the most. Little known fact: Angels are repelled by the smell of sunscreen.
She wanted to grow up too fast and called you "immature" when you blew your nose. Or maybe I'm just talking about Hope, the girl who called me immature when I had a cold in the 5th grade. Ugh, stupid Hope.
This kid either played basketball or was constantly annoyed because everyone always asked if they played basketball. It's tough being at the (literal) top.
They loved two things:
1) The spotlight2) Constantly making references to musical theater
Conventions and the internet have made this more mainstream than when I was a kid. Back then, we had Toonami and that was it.
If something in class broke, nine times out of ten it was caused by the troublemaker. What caused the tenth one? Still the troublemaker. You just weren't good at counting yet.
Not all of them grow up to be Dwight. But if the kid also lives on a beet farm, be wary.
One school in Honduras has a record-breaking 23 sets of twins enrolled. That's a lot of shared uteruses, am I right?
While the rest of us were learning how to read Arthur or Clifford the Big Red Dog, this kid was flying through chapter books. As in, NO PICTURES!