When the lady behind the camera was invited over for "fondue for two," she didn't realize it would be strictly as an observer.
Ooooooh. I get it! It's because his name is Dave.
How about eight-packs? However many squares you may enjoy on a man's stomach, these guys are willing to lean against a fence to make it happen.
We don't know what you're talking about. He's had that luxurious hair forever. Your memory of him having ears must just be clouded by jealousy.
Heard moments before this painting: "Quiet Dragon-Beast, she'll hear you! Oh no, she's coming, quick get under the-- Hellllooooo!"
"Baby, don't try to come between me and the World's Largest Ball of Twine. Just try to understand that there's enough room in my life for both of you."
You ever have one of those moments of realization when you find out that a pet lizard has partied more than you did in four years of college?
I tried using a stud detector when remodeling my garage, but it just kept detecting this photo...
"'It'll be fun,' they said... 'It's a great way to meet girls,' they said..."
Women can't help but throw themselves at Chad. They all find him absolutely fedorable.
Try as his pants might, there is absolutely no way any man could ever camouflage that much mojo.
Pro tip: If you don't have a coat of majestic feathers to spread open at women in the park, try using a trench coat instead. We guarantee you'll get somebody's attention.
Don't make fun of this guy. Think of it as a public service. He's purchasing every copy of Sneak King so you don't have to be reminded that Burger King thought it would be a good idea to make its own Xbox game.
Year after year, Dustin continued to wonder why children always bypassed his house when trick-or-treating.
"Why don't you come back to my place? I have a Tupperware bowl full of Cheerios with your name on it."