"What is this crank? You mean to tell me you had to manually put the window down yourself? Had you never heard of buttons a thousand years ago?"
"Did you know there was a time before the internet? We had to look things up in the newspaper."
"What the hell is a newspaper?"
"Why didn't you just download the MP3?"
"We didn't have MP3s back then. This was before CDs."
"What. The. Hell. Is. A. CD?"
"I have no idea what these things are supposed to be. But I have a more important question. Who is this Chelsea, and how can I get in contact with her?"
"When you saw that static snow you knew adventures were about to go down."
"Snow? Static? What-"
"You know what? No more questions. Just listen and learn, kid."
Remember thinking the world was going to end because the computers would reset when they saw "00?" Those were the days. The reasons we think the world is going to end these days seem way less adorable.
"We didn't have GPS. We used to have to print out directions from online to get around."
[Senior citizen approaches.]
"Actually, when I was a kid we had to use a map."
"(Us and kids) What the hell is a map?"
"This is called a VHS. When a movie was too long, we had to split it over more than one. Any questions?"
Ah, the days before Netflix. Blockbuster is long gone, but the fond memories will last forever. Kids will never understand.
"Look, I know it was your wedding video. But come on! Hulk Hogan defended the WWF title against Andre the Giant. That memory is way more worthy of preservation."
"Hey, Timmy, have you ever seen one of these before? Know what it is?"
"I do! These are urinals. At least that's how I've seen them used."
Yeah, it was annoying to have to push the same button three times to get one letter. But you know what? I actually kind of miss these.
Unlimited minutes weren't a thing back then. Finding ways to save on phone calls was a way of life. Even celebrities were getting in on it.
Caller ID? Ha! When someone messed with us, we had our own special way of getting back. You can keep your waterproof space gizmos. Tracking someone down with this made you feel like a detective.
"Wait, why does this say Netflix?"
"This was before streaming. You used to have to get your movies by mail."
"Man, we do have it good these days."