"We'll pre-game a little, party in the Uber on the way there and then roll in like V.I.P. This is our night!"
"Okay, so I just talked to the bouncer and he said they'd start letting more people in soon. So if the line starts moving then we can still get in by 1 A.M. and have a solid half-hour before last call. This is our night!"
"I hear they're going to have this DJ from Europe who just signed a contract with a major music company. Trust me, this guy is amazing. The tunes are going to be sick all night."
[Plays approximately 30 seconds of one song you like after three straight hours of incomprehensible bass and sound effects]
"Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! Y'all ready to hear some originals now? I call this one 'Clown Cradle.'"
Her: "Oh my God, me too! We have so much in common!'
Him: "Can I buy you a drink?"
Him: "... and then I said, "That's not even my finger!" Hahahahaha. Can I buy you a drink?"
Her: (ponders quickest and most untraceable escape)
Gavin: "A round of shots, on me! We're celebrating tonight. Woo!"
Bartender: "That will be $127.93."
Gavin: "Okay, so Tina had a shot and a half, Michael drank two-thirds of his, which means you each owe me roughly $11.26."
"I just want to let off some steam and show off my moves. Everyone will be impressed with how great I am."
[Crammed shoulder to shoulder with 40,000 other people on the dance floor]
[Moves shoulder slightly to allow passageway for air to lungs]
Creepy Guy: "Hey, nice moves."
[Grinds up on you]
"We'll just have a couple of drinks to loosen up. We're always so much more fun when we've got a little booze in our system."
[90 minutes later]
"Oh my God, this is so comfy. Which one of you wants to hold my hair as I throw up later? Great. But first, let's get some f***ing Denny's."