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Eight Myths About Poop That You Were Totally Wrong About

Sorry to break it to you, but if you're a human, you're going to poop. It's just part of the deal. Kind of like how eventually if you walk into a store and the greeter says "Hello!" you're going to accidentally respond, "Good, how are you?" In other words, there's no avoiding it, no matter how dignified you think you are.

But there's a lot about poop that people can get very, very wrong. Luckily, Guff is here to set the record straight. Here are eight common misconceptions about going number two. 

1. "Healthy People Should Poop Once a Day"

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Everyone's body is different, so the important thing isn't about "What's the normal number of bowel movements for people?" The important thing is, "What's the normal number for ME?"

According to the University of Massachusetts, the "normal range" for daily bowel movements ranges from three times a day, to a little as once every three days. As long as the stools aren't too hard and not too soft, it doesn't matter if you're not hitting the bowl once a day. 

2. "Women Don't Poop"

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If you're my boyfriend, please skip this caption. For everyone else, here's the truth: Women poop. Not only that, but women have longer colons then men — about 10cm longer — so women are more likely to feel bloated and constipated (The Atlantic).

3. "If Your Poop Changes Color You're DYING RIGHT NOW!"

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While it's true that a change in your stool can be an indicator of a serious medical problem, don't panic just yet. A black stool is a symptom of colon cancer, but it's also a side effect to taking iron supplements. Other changes can be attributed to your diet. While a red stool can indicate hemorrhoids or cancer, it can also mean that you recently ate beets, cranberries, tomato soup, or anything with red food coloring. The important thing is to keep calm, think about what you've been putting into your body, and talk to your doctor when you notice a consistent change in your stool. 

4. "You Can't Digest Corn"

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This one is half-true. You can't digest the OUTSIDE of corn, no matter how much you chew. Barkley Rosehill explains on Hubpages that the outer layer of a corn kernel (the hull) is made mostly out of cellulose. Cellulose is rubbery and doesn't break apart easily when chewed. Humans don't have the enzymes needed to break down cellulose, which is why when you poop, the corn looks the same going out as it did going in. 

5. "Poop Is All Solid!"

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75% of your poop is made up of water. The other 25%? Youtube comments.

Just kidding, it's a mixture of bacteria, fiber, waste from food, fats and more

6. "Poop Shouldn't Smell"

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All poop smells, because all poop has bacteria. 

Val Curtis from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine theorizes that humans are so repulsed by the smell for biological reasons, keeping us away from disease and infection. Because who likes getting Pink Eye? (Mental Floss). Though when your own poop starts to smell more vile than usual, take a look at what you've been eating recently and if it continues, see a doctor. 

7. "My Baby Poops Weird, Something Must Be Wrong"

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Your baby's poop IS weird, but there's nothing wrong. Your baby might be tiny, but that little bundle of joy is going to poop a LOT. It's not uncommon for babies to pass 5-6 stools a day, according to the University of Missouri's Kenneth Wible, MD

Baby poop is also weird because it comes in a wide array of colors, like the world's smelliest rainbow. The Mayo Clinic explains that when a baby has just been born, its first BM is a tarry black. If your baby is breast-fed, it'll become greenish-brownish. Formula fed babies will make their diapers light brown. Other colors (red, blue, orange, green) are normal depending on what your baby has eaten. 

8. "Only Immature Idiots Laugh at Poo Jokes"

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One of history's biggest lover of poop jokes was Mozart. His letters to friends, families and loved ones were full of poems about poop. If you're brave enough, you can learn more here. Does that mean every time I laugh at a turd, I'm one step closer to being a musical genius?