Davenport University Graduate Back Flip Fails Miserably

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This guy's pumped. He just spent the last four years drinking, cramming last minute for exams, and sucking his parents' bank account dry. I don't blame him for wanting to show his excitement, but shouldn't a celebration dance have been a little less... painful? 

I commend his courage. I remember dancing down the stage "“ and I mean all the way down the stage "“ at my high school graduation. I didn't have the same urge to dance down the stage at my college graduation, though. Maybe because I thought that drawing attention to myself in front of thousands of people was so a high school thing. Whatever, perhaps I'm just disenfranchised. 

Luckily for me, I never fell on my ass and ended up splashed all over the internet. And this guy didn't fall quietly, either. There were no, "Aw, he's just so relatable!" headlines like there are literally every single time Jennifer Lawrence falls. Instead, all this guy got was a massive dollop of public shaming and probably a lifetime of nightmares replaying that horrific moment. 

I'm sure his parents were proud, though. Their son graduated from college and was now a viral hit on the internet! How many kids had that chance? Nothing quite says honor student like the sound of a body smacking a stage. Oh, and about that sound. I'm definitely going to have a few bad dreams centered around the thunderous thud. It brought up some really awful memories of Russell Crowe in Les Misérables. That was honestly the hardest suicide scene to watch in the history of suicide scenes. They took a beautiful scene from a timeless stage production and novel and completely destroyed it with the haunting noise of a breaking neck. Hope you're happy, Les Mis sound guy. 

But in all earnestness, congrats on graduating, and please, never audition for Dancing With The Stars.
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