Does your job suck the soul right out of your body? Silly question...of course it does. Webster's Dictionary defines "job" as, "That thing you do for money but makes you want to kill yourself." (You have to read between the lines, but it's there.) Punching the clock for 40 hours a week in the same space year after year can get to even the most optimistic of us. Sometimes — okay, a lot of the times — you need something, anything, to break up the monotony.
Enter...the office prank.
When done well, office pranks are a panacea to the tedium of working an office job. Everyone laughs and feels good. When done poorly, office pranks are a distraction that can divide the office and affect morale... but still everyone laughs and feels good.
1) Answering The (Banana) Phone
The bad news is that this phone won't accept calls. The good news is when you try to use the phone, you increase your intake of potassium. Actually, when you think of it, none of that is bad news. Being healthy while at the same time having a legitimate excuse to ignoring any and all annoying work calls? Yes, please!
And if the prankster barges into your office, hoping to give you a big, "GOTCHA!", just pretend everything is normal...
Yup...nothing to see here...just grinding 24/7/365.
2) Co-worker Getting Cupped
Got a thirsty co-worker? This will help them out! And if that co-worker complains (let's call him Todd, cause you know there's always a Todd in the office who's a big complainer), just say, "Really, Todd, I am surprised at how upset you are. You're always saying you need to constantly hydrate which is why you're always at the water cooler, which just so happens to be located right next to Tabitha's cubicle, who you swear you don't have a crush on. So I thought it would just be easier to bring the water to you. You're welcome!"
Of course, if you are a big-timer prankster and wanna do the long con, you could always do this...
Sure, you wasted an entire day of work and possibly ruined the environment with all that wasted water and unnecessary styrofoam cups, but sometimes in life you just have to prioritize the funny.
3) Donut Day...PSYCH!
Wouldn't you hate it if you did this prank and instead of being mad, everyone was happy? Like, the entire office was overjoyed that instead of donuts they got veggies? And the CEO walked in and said to you, "Great prank to get us all into a healthier lifestyle. You're going places in the company!"
Oh, who are we kidding? That would never happen. Donuts are sacred. Your co-workers would more than likely murder you for this...which is exactly the response you were hoping for. Besides, it's still waaayyyy better than this prank...
I mean, this is just hurtful.
4) Foiled Again
Who is this prank really on? The person who sits at this desk, or the person who bought a bunch of foil and spent all that time putting it on all these items instead of doing actual work? This kind of prank requires at the very least a late night at the office getting it ready. At some point the prankster had to decide that putting all this sweat equity into this one prank was worth doing those TPS reports that had been sitting at their desk for three days. It may have been more work, but anything is better than TPS reports.
5) Breaking The Mold
Putting a stapler or a mouse in a Jell-O mold is one thing. But keys from a keyboard? That's taking office gelatin to the next level. So it looks like someone is eating there way into their computer. Now, getting the mouse out? That's no big deal. That looks like cherry Jell-O, which we all know is the best flavor of Jell-O there is. (Yeah, we said it. Come at us in the comments.) But what the hell is that Jell-O holding the keys of the keyboard? What flavor is that? Clear? Is clear even a flavor? I'd really come at it like...
At this point you might as well take a personal day, cause ain't nobody eating clear Jell-O in the name of work.
6) Now Packed With More Peanuts!
NO. Not funny. Filling a cubicle with packing peanuts is just plain cruel. It's insensitive, mean, and really speaks more to you as a person than anything. If you think this is funny, then you really need to take a good look in the mirror and make a conscious effort to be a better person.
Now, filling a cubicle with balloons?
Now that is comedy gold.
7) Seeing Yellow
One of these Post-Its actually has a very important message, and your co-worker has to find it. It's about a client that may be leaving for another firm, and if you co-worker can't find it by the end of the day, then the company will potentially lose out on one million dollars in billable hours yearly. So if this Post-It isn't found, your co-worker will be fired and the entire company more than likely have to downsize.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Post-It pranks are the best! Want proof? Look at this dumb cat!
8) Bathroom Games
Duct tape can be used for anything so, technically, in a pinch, this could actually work as toilet paper. As long as you remember to not use the sticky side. Actually, the sticky side might be more effective, right? Sure, it'll hurt more but you get the job done more efficiently.
Then again, who wants to deal with the pain? Use the shiny side. That being said, you'll be there forever and think of the mess. You know what, just use your underwear as toilet paper and call it a day.
9) The Great Escape
Want to make a co-worker shriek out loud and stand on a chair for the rest of the work day? Then try this prank. No, not because a spider is scary. But because that spider really wants your job. Job security these days is virtually non-existent. A motivate, aggressive spider who has similar workplace skills as you, works for half the salary, and doesn't need its own office is a threat to your financial well-being. Kill that motherf**ker.
10) New Toaster, Who Dis?
You might think you're good at pranks. But are you good enough to get people to yell at an inanimate object? Cause if you can get Tanya from HR to stand in the middle of the kitchen yelling, "Toast to a golden brown! Toast to a golden brown!" then you are on some next level office-pranking s**t. Kudos!
11) Elevate Your Work
I know that this is a prank on a fellow co-worker, but if I'm being honest, I would LOVE if my desk over here at Guff was like this. It would be so much fun, I'd come to work in a great mood, and I would get so much more work done. Besides, it would be the physical manifestation of how I feel about my co-workers: I am above them. #sorrynotsorry #screwyouchad
12) Like A Caged Beast
Nothing screams "OFFICE PRANK!" like a well-hidden photo of Mr. Nicholas Cage. The photo is just so perfect. It could mean everything from, "Hey Regina, I know you love 'National Treasure' so I thought this would make you chuckle," to "Jeff, the smell of your lunch drives me crazy so I am going to do the same to you." It just takes on so many meanings. And, come on: It feels like Cage's entire movie career has been one big office prank. ZING!
13) Come On Feel The Noise (Bleeding From Your Ears)
"HAHHAHAHAHA! Joke is on you, Fran! I knew you'd find it funny. Most people would be annoyed by this prank, but I said to myself, 'Not Fan.' Did you like it? Wasn't it funny? Fran. Fran, I am talking to you. Why are you ignoring me, Fran?! Can't you take a joke? And what's that red stuff coming out of your ears?! Ohhh...."
14) Lubed For Everyone's Pleasure?
Offices are notoriously a petri dish for bacteria and viruses. So why not make it worse by replacing all the hand sanitizer with lubricating jelly? Sure, everyone may get the flu for three days because of it, but at least everybody's hands will be smooth and sexy AF. So if you think about it, it really evens out.
15) That Escalated Quickly
So you planned your office prank, you executed your office prank, and this happened. Yeah, you went to far. Your harmless joke quickly escalated into the demise of a fellow co-worker. You can't undo this. You can't reverse what you have done. This is all your fault. This is on you.
Totally. Worth. It.