There is an old saying that applies to relationships of all ilk, whether they be romantic or platonic or familia, and it goes a little something like this:
Next to that other old saying, "You can't have your cake and eat it, too" this is the dumbest thing ever uttered by a human. (Okay, the cake one is dumber. I will have my cake and I shall eat it "” lots and lots of it cause I am a grown ass man.)
How can you be happy if you are not right? Or let me ask it in another way: Have you ever been right and not happy? I'm gonna take a big swing and say no. Even if it's not full-on elation, the fact that you proved someone wrong at the expense of everything else in your life is still a pretty great feeling. To be right is to be happy. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Proving you are right while other people are wrong is as important to happiness as enjoying your job or proper dental hygiene. Unfortunately, there are not many ways to show the world how right you are. Basically, you only have one option when you are playing the, "I Am Only Happy When I Am Right" game.
"No, you're the one who is oversensitive!" istockphoto/WilleeCole
Arguments. I'm talking about arguments. Sorry if I was unclear.
The entire foundation of arguments is based on the concept that one person is right (me) and one person is wrong (whomever I am arguing with). No one argues with the intent of seeing the other person's side of things. If that were the case, you would have seen that other person's perspective beforehand and there would be no need for arguing in the first place. (I think that's called "being a mature adult," but I'm not sure.)
So every time you argue, you need to prove that you are 100% right and the other person is 100% wrong. And I maintain that the only way to achieve happiness is if you are hitting those numbers on a regular basis. Some may say that by not wanting to be right all the time, by not worrying about who is right and who is wrong, that you will actually be a happier person in the long run. Those who say that are wrong, and their wrongness makes me oh-so very right, and that makes me feel like a big bowl of happy.
...this way to happiness.istockphoto/InesMolina
When you argue, you are arguing for victory, no matter how big or how small. There always has to be a winner and a loser in an argument. And if for some reason I am not the winner, that means that I am not right, ergo, I am not happy. So that old saying, "Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?" is really just a bunch of bunk mixed with malarkey, topped with poppycock and sprinkled with hooey.
The problem is, if you want to try the whole "be happy or be right" dealio, you have to basically be agreeable to everything. How many of us have the wherewithal to do that? Agreeing with everything is just as exhausting as not agreeing with everything, particularly when you don't believe in what you are agreeing with. Nodding your head is just as tiring as shaking it, so why not just push all of your energies towards your natural inclination and fight for your right to be right?
Come on, we all know that being wrong feels horrible. That's why most of us fight so hard in arguments in the first place. Sure, we are fighting to prove how right we are, but we are also fighting to prove that we are not wrong. How many times have you been in the middle of an argument and thought to yourself, "Damn, I may be in the wrong here. Well, too late now. I'm in the thick of it and to stop now would be to concede defeat. Might as well try to convince this person in front of me that I'm right and see if a victory can mask the fact that I am the one that probably screwed up here. Then I'll be happy."
Cause in the end, in order to prove yourself right all the time, you basically have to fight with yourself.
But we all knew this...RIGHT?istockphoto/Gajus