Here you go, Internet.
These are puppies sneezing. This is what you want.
No stupid "facts," no pretentious millennial opinions, just pure, unadulterated puppy sneezes.
Remember when you were a kid, before the Internet? You saw maybe one puppy sneeze a month. Tops.
The time before the Internet sucked.
Cherish the technological age. Cherish the puppy sneezes.
I know you're wondering if there is a catch. You're getting so much, and giving nothing. Surely this can't be real.
Maybe these sneezes signal a terminal disease that these puppies are suffering from or something....
Nope. The only thing these puppies are suffering from is your undying love.
Look, we all know that conventional wisdom states that you should be working right now.
But work doesn't involve puppies sneezing.
And let's be honest; how much work do you actually have to do? Not very much, am I right?
So why overdo it? So your boss Marsha doesn't yell at you about productivity?
Marsha is neither a puppy nor adorable, and when she sneezes, it's gross.
This puppy doesn't care about productivity. It's too busy being adorable.
Be the puppy.
Karl Marx said that religion is the opiate for the masses. Karl Marx was wrong.
Puppy sneezes are the opiate for the masses.
Your soul is being sent to the meat grinder by Coca-Cola and Nike, there are nuclear bombs pointed at your head, but it's okay....
Because this GIF of a labradoodle will live forever.
You can stop and smell the roses, all the while sneezing out the dirty pollen that's slowing choking your soul to death, or you can let this puppy sneeze for the sins of humanity.
Is this a dog? A cat? Old names and forms don't apply in this new age. There are no rules. Just concentrated GIFs to give you exactly what you want.
This precocious newborn is releasing dopamine directly into your pleasure centers with each petite "achoo."
So relax and enjoy. Pretend you're looking at puppy sneezes, and not staring directly into the technological void of our vapid, empty existence.
OOOOh, look at this common cold cutie! Looks like somebody could use some Ro-bite-ussin! HAHAHA!