Having a family can be very stressful, as anyone who’s married with kids will know. It takes excellent time management skills and a lot of constant housework and chores, on top of making ends meet. But while most would probably assume that the kids would be the biggest source of stress in a woman’s life, science actually suggests that the husband might be causing more stress. Read on to learn why.
In the modern day, women have far more opportunities than they ever have. We can be the breadwinner in the family, or choose to stay at home and take care of the kids and the house. But what happens when all of those responsibilities start adding up at once?
Spiderman's Uncle Ben once said, "with great power comes responsibility," and it's true. Women in this day and age have more power to choose what they want to do with their lives than in past generations, but with that comes more responsibilities. Women are now often expected to be the prime caregivers to their children and work full time.
Although it’s generally understood in marriage that two people will share the domestic responsibilities, unfortunately that doesn’t always end up happening. Women are often left to feel ultimately responsible for cooking, cleaning, childcare, and working a full-time job on top of that. This can leave the woman feeling like she is also parenting and nagging her husband to do chores, instead of working alongside him.
Throughout history, women have been expected to cook, clean and take care of the kids, and that mentality isn’t dead yet. Don’t believe me? Just look at any sitcom ever that features a hot wife who takes care of the kids and constantly nags the clueless dad who doesn’t know how to do anything at home. Stereotypes like these have been perpetuated over time through pop culture.
A survey conducted by Today.com asked 7,000 moms to rate different sources of stress in their lives. The average stress rating was an insane 8.5 out of 10, and nearly half answered that their husbands were a bigger source of stress than their kids. Additionally, 75 percent of survey respondents said that they do nearly all of the parenting and household chores.
As you can imagine, the above findings from the survey can be a huge source of stress for a woman in a relationship. One out of every five moms reported in the survey that they didn’t feel they had enough help from their spouses on a regular basis, and that they don’t have enough time in each day to get everything done.
The University of Padua came up with some crazy findings on health: the study found that, hypothetically, if the wife were to pass away, leaving the husband with all of the household responsibilities, his health would deteriorate over time. Conversely, the same study found that if the roles were reversed, the wife’s health would improve. Pretty telling, isn’t it?
If you feel that you’re in an unequal relationship that’s causing resentment, then here are some things you can do to remedy the situation. And just remember: when in doubt, talk it out! Presumably you’re in a committed relationship, after all!
Guys, I’m sorry to say, but you’re not just “helping” your partner when you do some chores around the house, or “babysitting” when you watch the kids for a few hours. It’s not helping your wife because you’re doing your own share. It takes two to tango when two fully grown adults live in one home.
11. If You Don't Know How To Do Something, Look It Up
If there’s a particular chore or domestic activity you don’t know how to do on your own, don’t simply ask your partner to do it for you. Instead, educate yourself. If you always ask her to do it for you will never learn how to do it for yourself, and thus the cycle will keep spinning and the resentment will continue to build.
12. Split The Chores Based On What You Both Hate Doing
If your partner likes to cook, and you despise cooking, then offer to do the dishes every night instead. Or if your toddler wakes you up at 3 am because he had another nightmare, switch off on who gets out of bed each time to comfort him. Parenting isn’t technically a chore, but it’s likely that neither of you wants to get out of bed at 3 am!
If one of you works longer days than the other, then it’s okay to negotiate housework based on that. After all, it wouldn’t be fair to ask one spouse to do 50 percent of the chores when the other is home much more often. Talking it out is the best bet in this situation.
It’s good to establish the fact that homemaking can be just as valuable as a regular 9-5 job. After all, without homemaking, the laundry and cleaning would never get done and no one would be there to raise the kids. Sounds like a pretty important job, doesn’t it?
Husbands, if you ever feel like your wives are “nagging” you too much or in a bad mood all the time, perhaps try stepping back and looking at how much work she’s doing around the house. How would you feel in her situation? Chances are, you’d be stressed out and resentful too!