Carol Ebert, photographed here by ABC News 10 in Pompano Beach, Florida, is president of the Florida Humane Society, which by our account makes her a way better person than any of us.
After all, we imagine that taking care of so many homeless dogs and cats can be something of a thankless job, but once the animals inevitably return that unconditional love they've received, it's probably all worth it.
But then again, what do cats care about love? Or shelter? Or all the hard work Carol Ebert puts into making their lives better? Cats are dicks.
You see, after Carol left the humane society on Wednesday, June 29th, these cats could have entertained themselves by hanging out on those sweet shelves and cat trees...
...Or played with one of the myriad cat toys laying around on the floor, there specifically for their enjoyment...
...Or even chowed down on all the free food and refreshments for the night.
But no. Instead, one of these furry a-holes decided to go and mess with the faucet. He or she turned it on, and then left it running for 17 consecutive hours!
The next morning, according to ABC News 10, Carol "got a call about 7:15 AM...that there was water running out the back door of her shelter."
"The countertops are ruined, the walls are ruined," Ebert said.
"We had lots of damage with food and storage we had in the hallway, [including] cat litter," she continued.
In all, over $5,000 in damage was done by some bored cat.
Now, the Florida Humane Society is reaching out the public, asking for donations to help cover the cost of all the repairs.
Shelter volunteers were quick to point out that they don't know which cat was ultimately the culprit in this humane society sabotage, but we can't help but ruminate on a few suspects.
Even scarier, what if it was an inside job? A calculated attack, coordinated by all the cats? Anyone who's ever had one of these killers as a pet knows what darkness they're capable of.
Perhaps we should stop asking so many questions. Maybe we know too much. If the Guff staff comes in one morning next week to find the whole building underwater, we'll know who to blame.