If your partner can’t do anything social without you, you may be in a codependent relationship. Look, social encounters can be awkward for anyone, codependent or not. But if they feel safer, more confident and more comfortable with you around and they don’t feel like they can socialize without you, it is something to be aware of.
Does your partner become paranoid when they can’t reach you? The worst fear of a dependent partner is losing their enabler. When they don’t hear from you they can’t help but think the worst, whether it is infidelity, death or abandonment.
3. They Won’t Celebrate Achievements Unless You Are Part Of It
If they get a promotion or if they achieve a goal or reach a milestone, can they celebrate without you knowing about it? Do they rely on you to celebrate with them? If you find that you or your partner can’t truly celebrate your accomplishments without the other one’s support you may be in a codependent relationship.
They will do anything for you, but for all the wrong reasons. They will say yes to you, even if they don’t want to or feel that it is right or okay. They will go against their own beliefs so they don’t disappoint you.
They once had a group of friends, but then you came along. Their only goal was to gain your approval and when they did, they lost touch with their friends in the process. You have become their everything, which is a lot of pressure.
When you can’t be there for them, you feel an enormous amount of guilt. You find yourself always trying to save the day and if you can’t, you feel like a failure. As a result you wind up lashing out at them for asking for too much from you in the first place.
You are their cheerleader and are always trying to change them for the better. And while you want to change them for the better, you still want them to need you. It’s a vicious cycle and is bound to send mixed signals to your partner.
There is a sense of urgency when they call, whether it is an emergency or not. No matter how small the task, you will stop your whole life to help your partner. If you find yourself sacrificing your needs for your partner’s it’s time to take a closer look.
No matter how big or small, they can’t make a decision without you. Picking out an outfit, accepting a new job or even going grocery shopping, they need your input. They always need your approval in everything they do.
Do you find yourself canceling plans for your partner? You were looking forward to going out with your girlfriends and then all of a sudden your partner gets off early and BAM! Plans get canceled and you rush home to do nothing with them at all.
Does their mood become your mood? If they are in a good mood, you are in the clear. But if you come home in a perfectly good mood to their terrible mood, does their terrible mood instantly becomes your terrible mood? Yea, that is not good.
Is it all too much? Do you feel anxious and smothered and responsible and like you are keeping your partner afloat? While you love them and want to better them and take care of them, it is important to take a step back and also take care of yourself.