When I look at this photo, I can’t help but think about that scene from Monty Python’s Meaning of Life, where all the leaves commit suicide in fall. Hey I get it, when it starts getting cold, I’d like to die, too. But really, here on the East Coast we had an unseasonably warm autumn. It seems like we had foliage for about two days and now 80 percent of the trees are bare, and the rest of the 20 percent are still green. Hopefully, winter will forget how to winter this year, too.
What exactly is a "relentlessly gay yard"? Unless there are actual dudes going at it in the front yard, there isn’t much you can call the cops about. This person needs to tone down their angry anonymous letter writing.
This must be somewhere in the bible belt, where the holy trinity is McDonald’s, Chick-fil-a and Burger King. Jesus is just one step above the church of fast food. But, seriously, isn’t gluttony one of the seven deadly sins?
This is why you tell grandma to drop you off around the block. I used to get my parents to give me rides all through high school and I used to wear all sorts of strange disguises, so no one would recognize me. I’m sure this guy’s grandma was still proud of his effort, though.
Why does Noah Schnapp of Stranger Things look like a medieval court jester in this photo? Cutting bangs seems like it would be pretty straightforward, right? But every time you do it on your own, it ends up worse than the worst haircut your mother ever gave you.
I’ve officially unfollowed everyone I ever went to grade school with. So, Becky with the okay hair, I don’t care about your toddler’s potty training progress. Oh, and Ryan, I read enough racist and chauvinistic posts just going through the headlines every day.
That is an undeniably great insult and one that cuts deep. A clown is low on the totem poll. If you’re not even one of the better-known clowns, like Bozo, Pennywise or Ronald McDonald, you’re pretty much pond scum.
The only person I want to pick up the phone when I’m calling them is the restaurant I just ordered from. If the delivery is more than five minutes late, you best believe I’m calling them up and asking to speak to the manager. Yeah, I’m that guy.
Yeah, I never get the criteria that judges are basing their scores off in the Olympics, especially in diving, gymnastics and ice skating. I feel as though they landed that double axel, but the judges will take a point off if a single hair from the ice-skaters head comes out of place.
Your family is dying because they’re choking on the stench of a Yankee Candle explosion in your apartment. I can’t even walk into that store without my eyes watering and my nostrils starting to close. All those scents mixed together just smell like a spicy dumpster fire.
Maybe they thought it was a TV anthology of all the best shows over the past 20 years. Honestly, sir, how do you get your hands on 57 DVDs of Click? I thought that because the movie was so bad, they only released 60 copies.