This person's initial status is 100% true. Sometimes there's ugliness in the world, such as a boring, pointless status update. But you need that to appreciate true beauty, like some perfectly thrown shade.
Tom sold MySpace for $580 million? That reminds us: Hey Tom, remember when we were friends? Do you want to be friends again and loan me a million bucks or so? If you do, I promise to put you in my Top 8.
If you're looking for a fast food place that also serves up nasty burns, look no further than Wendy's. This burns more than the burn from their Spicy Chicken Sandwich. (We'd mention that the Spicy Chicken sandwich is only mildly spicy, but we don't want Wendy's to see that and then throw a mean tweet in our direction.)
George Takei tweeted this shortly after Gilbert Gottfried was fired from being the voice of the Aflac duck. Which is too bad that Gilbert is no longer associated with Aflac. He could have probably used their help with medical bills while he recovered from this sick burn.
Remember when the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day? It looks like it's now shrunk back down to normal. Which is probably for the best, because there's no way a rapid increase in heart size can be good for your health.
What's more surprising? The fact that Gordon Ramsay would take time from his schedule to roast a random person's grandmother? Or the fact that, when he types, he doesn't have the caps lock on the whole time?
Thanks to Negan from The Walking Dead, United Airlines probably won't have to worry about overbooked flights ever again. The only way passengers will come back now is with an amazing ad campaign. Maybe they need to also hire Don Draper.
For his turn in the spelling bee, looks like Kyle's word is "shade." Seems like a simple word, but he just might need some assistance. Although if he asks for a definition, they can just hand him a copy of this tweet.
And if Old Spice is made with old spices, maybe it's the perfect thing to add to a Taco Bell taco. You might as well give it a try. It might make it taste better, and it definitely won't make it taste any worse.
Looks like this Troy fella is not all about that bass, 'bout that bass. Instead, he's apparently all about unleashing a sick burn. (And he's also about going from cafe to cafe untll he finds one playing a song he likes.)